recipe: trailer trash cosmo


2 ounces vodka
1 ounce cranberry juice
1 ounce orange juice
2 handfuls of ice

  1. pour all ingredients (incl. ice) into a container that has an air-tight lid. DO NOT USE A SHAKER. Use a Tupperware or your protein shaker or even a ziploc bag. Cocktail shakers are for non-trailer trash recipes. Even using a mason jar was a stretch as they’ve become synonymous with millennials and hipsters, but I save mason jars because I’m cheap so it’s ok.
  2. shake for, like, 20 seconds.
  3. pour liquid, straining the ice (use your hand or a fork or just pour really carefully) into a glass. A sippy cup, a solo cup, a wine glass, a water glass, a coffee mug — just not a martini glass.
  4. drink



Ever since my obsession with Sex and the City I have loooooonged to drink a cosmo at a bar in a fabulous outfit. But I hate the taste of them and that brings me shame. 

In a REAL cosmo, you have:
2 ounces vodka
1 ounce cranberry juice
3/4 ounce triple sec
lime juice

I know what I hate is the triple sec.

“a type of strong, sweet and colorless orange-flavored liqueur made from the dried peels of bitter and sweet oranges” (thank you wikipedia)

Like, why?

So, in my version, there is no triple sec, there is orange juice, made from actual oranges — but very likely Great Value brand or similar. (You’ll notice I omitted the lime juice as well — I do like lime juice but in a recipe entitled “trailer trash”, it just doesn’t seem like juicing a tiny citrus fruit should be part of the process.)

Happy long weekend!

“Why did we ever stop drinking these?” asked Miranda.

To which Carrie replied, “Because everyone else started.”

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