my why

After a two-and-a-half year hiatus, my little slice of the internet is back. Why? Where did it go? Should you care?

I had just moved to Australia and life was changing. It was hot, sunny, full of Aussies and vegemite, and I didn’t want to miss a second of it. I managed to post twice when I first arrived and I attempted a third but my blog’s property expired and I didn’t know how to bring it back (my original blog was created BEFORE the likes of WordPress and Squarespace and I wasn’t about to invest the time learning how to keep it, which is why all the old content is gone).

Two and a half years without the impulse to write in my blog. Other than a few pieces for Ottawa Magazine, it was a clean two years from writing at all.

(This time was filled with new friends, new foods. Meeting family I never knew I had. Leading rooftop rides and and learning a workout I didn’t even know existed. Moving back to Ottawa, meeting babies, dealing with death. Working towards a career that will fulfill me and relationships with people who stand by me.)

A few months back I had an idea for a piece and pitched something to a Toronto publication — rejected (they never followed up and nor did I). Lately I’ve had ideas for pieces but I’ve procrastinated on following through with a pitch. I just didn’t want to go through it all anymore. Pitch, rejection, pitch again, negotiate, interview, fact check, deadlines, photos.

I was going to give up after that.

“Writing just isn’t for me anymore.”
“I don’t have time.”
“I’m not as good as I used to be.”

But then I asked myself why I wanted to pitch in the first place. It’s not the money (and most of my journalism classmates would agree). It’s not even being read — I don’t care how many people see or don’t see my words.

I missed the act of writing. I missed putting ideas on paper, creating sentences, overusing commas, and trying to be funny. I missed the sense of peace it brought.

I can write without pitching or being published. I can write without readers.

So, should you care? Not really, and I don’t care if you do or don’t (but I appreciate if you do). I want you to care about what you want to do — what is your why? Not your excuses. They aren’t important enough to hold you back, I promise you that.

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